Hetalia Crack Fic
by Blossom The Cat
Summary: I don't even know what I have wrote. Enter at your own risk. WARNING: Extreme insanity, drunk nations, and Switzerland and Japan dancing.


**Hetalia Crack Fic**

**This is a real crackfic. Don't even ask what was going through my brain when I chose to write this. And this is why you should never give alcohol to Switzerland or Japan…Sophie (my pet cat) would you do the honours?**

**My slave does not own Hetalia. If she did, cats would rule the world! ****(No they wouldn't!) ****SILENCE PUNY HUMAN!**

oOo

There is a reason that most of the nations don't drink alcohol. Switzerland and Japan are two perfect examples. They had been drinking that night, and now the alcohol was starting to really take effect. Somehow, they had gotten hold of two very odd outfits, and were now dancing. Yes, Switzerland and Japan were dancing. But here's the more…disturbing part…

"O Vreneli, my pretty one, pray tell me where's your home~?" Japan sang, holding hands with Switzerland.

"My home it is in Switzerland, it's made of wood and stone~!" Switzerland sang, and they started moving from left to right and back again.

"My home it is in Switzerland, it's made of wood and stone~!" Switzerland repeated his last line.

"Yo!" Japan sang loudly.

"Ho!" Switzerland went on.

"Ho, tra la la! Yo ho ho, tra la la!" They then began dancing in circles and repeating the song. The few sober nations gave them a wide berth and weird looks.

Meanwhile, Estonia was yelling at a pineapple in the kitchen.

"Come out Spongebob! I know you're in there!" He cried, staring intently at the pineapple as if he expected the cartoon character to pop out of the pineapple.

Austria was yelling at half a coconut, calling for that goddamned starfish Patrick, knocking on the coconut occasionally. Hungary watched him in fascination.

Latvia was helping England look for Narnia in one of the wardrobes. They kept yelling for Aslan and Mr Tumnus, and Prince Caspian.

Greece and Turkey were leaping off seats, yelling that they 'believed in fairies' and trying to 'fly' to Neverland. They were also shouting for Tinkerbell and Peter Pan to come and help. Sealand was with them.

Iceland was yelling at Norway, complaining about how unfair it was that he had to call him big brother. Eventually, he was talking too fast for Norway to understand him at all. Instead, he just massaged his temples and tried to block out his little brother's chattering. Denmark was laughing at Norway's misfortune.

Canada was fighting with Prussia for control of a bottle of Maple Syrup. Prussia wanted to drink it as he believed it to be beer, Canada wanted to put it on some randomly appearing pancakes. Kumajiro and Gilbird were happy enough to leave their owners to fight, playing happily in a corner, along with China's panda. His owner was drunk and out looking for more Shinatty-chan merchandise.

Russia was downing vodka at an incredible rate, Belarus lurking in a corner and waiting until he was drunk enough to become one with her. Poor Belarus, she was going to be there for a while…

Lithuania and Poland were skipping round the room in their underwear, singing nonsense at the top of their voices. France was with them.

North and South Italy were fighting, Romano yelling about how stupid that potato bastard (Germany) was, and Italy was trying to say that he was nice. Spain watched on, amused, ready to swipe Romano away once he tired himself out.

The sober nations (Hungary, Spain, Canada, Germany, Norway, Liechtenstein, Sweden, Finland, Latvia, America and Sealand) were either watching the events take place, or helped the drunk nations.

Liechtenstein was crouched behind a couch, videoing Switzerland and Japan as they danced.

"This is going straight on YouTube!" She whispered, looking around for more people to film. She moved towards Greece, Turkey and Sealand, making sure they didn't accidentally land on her as they tried to fly.

America was wondering what on Earth was going on. How did the nations get this drunk? Maybe this was why Canada warned him about the amount of alcohol he should put out at parties…

oOo

In the morning, there were a lot of headaches. Several nations woke up in bed together, and there were a lot of screams. Japan ran down in his underwear as a half-naked Switzerland chased him down with an AK-47.

Turkey and Greece were sprawled out on the floor, Prussia woke up covered in Maple Syrup with Gilbird stuck to his left leg, Russia ran screaming from Belarus, claiming he 'never became one with her', England was found in one of the wardrobes (the one in the room with Lithuania and Poland), Iceland was found tied to Denmark by the wrist with Norway's tie which also looped round one leg of the table, and Finland woke up to Sweden staring at him (but that was normal, everyone knew Sweden was a creeper).

Austria found that he had fallen asleep with half a coconut on his head, Estonia was hugging a pineapple and Romano screamed for Spain to put some clothes on and get the hell out of his room.

Canada and America started making breakfast, handing food to all the hungover nations. Liechtenstein had posted the video of last night on YouTube, which already had several thousand views.

Oh, and China was found in a toy store, buried in a mound of Shinatty-chan plushies. And his panda was with him.

And that is why you must never give the nations alcohol. All hell shall break loose.

oOo

**That was the most ridiculous story I have ever wrote. I actually support the pairing Switzerland x Japan, which is pretty rare, I think? I remember watching the clip of Switzerland and Japan dancing, and I just thought WTF? But I did enjoy writing this.**

**Please tell my slave what you thought so she shall not worry. ****(Would you stop it with the slave thing already?) ****Review and whatever else it is you people do…**


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